Three Daughters Freak Out In The Wake of My New Haircut

Over the period of a week, my daughters fixated upon my hair, or lack of same. It all started when I got a badly needed haircut.

September 26:

I got my hair cut. When I walked in the house that evening . . . 

Six y/o: "Did you get your hair cut?! You don't look like yourself. I wanted you to look the same! You look so different now. I don't like it." Later, to a sister: "I really like his other hairdo."

Nine y/o: "Daddy, you don't look like my daddy anymore. Your new haircut looks dumb. It looks really bad. I wanted you to keep your hair!"

Me: "Okay, I'll try to grow it back."

Nine y/o: "Oh good! And your beard, too?"

Nope. Not growing that out. Sorry kid.

September 29:

Scene: I am sitting on the couch. L., age 8, and S., age 9, are in the room with me.

L. <running her fingers through my hair>: "Dad, why does your hair feel stiff and crunchy?"

Me: "Because it has gel in it."

L.: "You should always wear gel in your hair, dad. You look so much better that way."

S.: "No he doesn't. He looks terrible that way!"

You don't have to sugarcoat it, S.

September 30:

Eight y/o: "Dad, you just have a big bald head, don't you?"

Uh, can I plead the Fifth Amendment?

October 2:

Eight y/o: "Dad, you look so manly with gel in your hair. You just really look manly."

Wow, I didn't even have to lose weight or lift weights to look "manly." A little gel goes a long way, apparently.