Three Daughters Freak Out In The Wake of My New Haircut

Over the period of a week, my daughters fixated upon my hair, or lack of same. It all started when I got a badly needed haircut.

September 26:

I got my hair cut. When I walked in the house that evening . . . 

Six y/o: "Did you get your hair cut?! You don't look like yourself. I wanted you to look the same! You look so different now. I don't like it." Later, to a sister: "I really like his other hairdo."

Nine y/o: "Daddy, you don't look like my daddy anymore. Your new haircut looks dumb. It looks really bad. I wanted you to keep your hair!"

Me: "Okay, I'll try to grow it back."

Nine y/o: "Oh good! And your beard, too?"

Nope. Not growing that out. Sorry kid.

September 29:

Scene: I am sitting on the couch. L., age 8, and S., age 9, are in the room with me.

L. <running her fingers through my hair>: "Dad, why does your hair feel stiff and crunchy?"

Me: "Because it has gel in it."

L.: "You should always wear gel in your hair, dad. You look so much better that way."

S.: "No he doesn't. He looks terrible that way!"

You don't have to sugarcoat it, S.

September 30:

Eight y/o: "Dad, you just have a big bald head, don't you?"

Uh, can I plead the Fifth Amendment?

October 2:

Eight y/o: "Dad, you look so manly with gel in your hair. You just really look manly."

Wow, I didn't even have to lose weight or lift weights to look "manly." A little gel goes a long way, apparently.

Dad Braids His Daughter's Hair

Dear old dad braids his daughter's hair while mom is unavailable. S. (age 9) actually let me do it, which was a surprise. And she didn't tear my head off when I did a crappy job. That surprised me, too. She said the braid was a little loose at the top, but that it was pretty good overall. Either S. is mellowing out, or I'm actually getting better at braiding hair. Or, most likely, last night's laid-back attitude was just an anomaly.

(Photo credit: L. [8 y/o])

My Daughters' Obsession with My Hair, Part 3

The following day . . . 

I got my hair cut on Thursday. Neither my wife nor my daughters noticed. Either that or they simply did not say anything about it. Until today, that is. Little Miss "Dad, you look ugly with a bald face" was standing behind me and suddenly said, "Dad, why did you get your hair cut?!" She said she wanted me to grow it back out again to the same length that it had been. (To actually quote Savannah: "Dad, I *order* you to . . .") Colette then suggested that I grow my hair out as long as Rapunzel's. I told her that it would take me at least forty years to do that, assuming I had any hair left by then. (As Savannah pointed out earlier today, "Dad's hair isn't thriving.")

Sad but true. My hair is not exactly thriving. Thank you for reminding me, dear daughter!

My daughters' obsession with my hair, part 1

A couple snippets of conversation from today . . .

Incident 1)

Colette: "Dad, I can tell you are a man. Guess how? Because you have really hairy arms. <Runs her hand along my forearm> Look at all this hair!"

So *that's* how you tell the difference between men and women! I've always wondered.

Leila: "But he doesn't have any hair on his head. It must've fallen down onto his brain."

Colette: "Yeah. Dad must have a very hairy brain."

Incident 2)

I mention in passing that I am going to shave today. Savannah says, "No! You look silly with bald cheeks!"

Leila: "Yeah, keep your whiskers. Don't shave your cheeks bald!"

Me: "I'm sorry, girls, but mom outranks you. I'm going to shave."

Savannah: "But dad, I have one vote and Leila has one vote. So we outvote mom."

Me: "Mom has lots of votes. She wins.

Savannah: "Leila and I have lots of votes, too. We can outvote mom."

Uh, no. No, you can't. However many votes you girls have, mom has thousands more. Trust me.