Leasing a Fireplace in the Texas Heat

This sign recently went up in our neighborhood:

 I just about died when I first saw it. I couldn't believe my eyes. The absurdity! It's early September! In Texas! And the rocket scientist who put this sign up thinks advertising a fireplace will attract renters to their home?! It's a thousand degrees outside! And I ought to know -- I just finished mowing the lawn. What's more, in Texas it is too hot to use a fireplace for 11.875 months out of the year.

We have a fireplace in our living room, but in the more than three years we've lived here, have never used it. It has zero value. If anything, it should lower the value of the home. We put the couch in front of it. It is an inconvenience, a very poor use of perfectly good wall space.

But back to the sign . . .

It says "HOT" on the bottom. I'm confused. Is that a reference to the fireplace? Because everyone knows that, when in use, fireplaces are hot. Or is it a reference to the current temperature? Because everyone knows it's hot the second they waltz out their front door. At best, this portion of the sign is an insult to people's intelligence. At worst, it is a terrible marketing ploy -- "Hi, we know it's hotter than the surface of the sun all year long in Texas, but by golly, we've got a fireplace in our rental unit! When it's 90 degrees outside, you can come curl up in front of a nice hot fire!"

Three days later . . . 

Apparently the owners are unable to generate any interest in their property and are getting desperate. The sign changed yesterday. Check out the new top line:

When we drove past it today in a car that lacks air conditioning, my sweat-soaked eight-year-old daughter noticed it. She said, "Dad, why are they advertising a fireplace? It's way too hot for that. Ugh!"

Me: "Yeah. I think they'd have better luck renting their home if they advertised a walk-in freezer rather than a fireplace."

I wish the owners the best of luck in their futile endeavor. Perhaps people will be more interested come January when the heat of the Texas summer finally fades.