Dancing with a two-year-old Princess

One evening a couple weeks ago, my nine-year-old daughter put a "dress-up" fairy princess dress on her younger sister, A. Princess A. announced, "I pretty!" Then, as I swept the dining room floor, she ran up to me and said, "Dance [with] me, daddy. Dance me."

So I traded the broom for a pint-sized, pacifier-wearing princess. And we danced.

Several days later, A. and I danced again. As we did, A. kept repeating, "My name is [A]. I dancing with my daddy. I dancing like a princess." as we sailed back and forth across the living room floor.

While I took rest breaks -- yes, I *am* in peak physical condition, thank you for asking -- A. danced on her own, flailing and twirling about as she chanted, "Shake your booty! Shake your booty!"

A. grew increasingly impatient with my rest breaks. She kept demanding, "Get up dad! Dance me more!" I complied with those demands. Each time I did, the booty shaking stopped and A. danced like a princess once again.

In Which My Daughters Educate Me about Maturation and being a Preteen

Scene: I am in the minivan driving the girls home from school.

L. (Eight y/o daughter): "Dad, did you know that girls can hit puberty and start their periods when they are eight years old?"

Me: "No."

L: "[Redacted] told us so. Girls can start their periods that early! So [S., her ten-year-old sister] and I could start our periods any time now."

Me <thinking>: Ohhhh boy!

L: <voice rising into a panicked shout>: "So we are both really worried about periods!"

S. (Ten y/o daughter): "No we're not!"

L: <still panicked>: "Periods, periods, periods! I don't want mine to start now! I don't want that! And [S.] is older than me. She could start any time! What if she starts next week?"

Me <thinking>: Kill me now!

C. (Seven year-old daughter): "What's a period?"

Me: "It's a punctuation mark."

If anyone needs me, I'll be out buying a dog.