Friday, July 15, 2016

An Eight-Year-Old Insomiac Talks to Her Father

Scene: The girls are in bed but still awake. I arrive home from work and go in their bedroom to check on them and tell them good night.
L.: "Poppy, how many times have you told us 'I love you'? How many times have you said, 'remember that I love you'?"
Me: "A lot."
L.: "You've told us that a quadrillion times! No, a quintillion times!"
Me: "Okay."
L.: "What comes after quintillion?"
Me: "I don't know. I can't count that high."

Later, she comes out of her bedroom and plops down on the couch beside me . . . 

L.: "I'm having troubles falling asleep, dad. Do you have any suggestions?"
Me: "Count turtles."
L.: "Where did you come up with that? That's dumb. Usually your ideas are spastic."

Well gee, L., I'm sorry I don't have any "spastic" ideas for you this evening. Now get back in bed.
smh

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