It happened as I was getting ready for work. I was running late and, in my haste, dropped the can in the doorway of the walk-in closet. My Dockers and shoes and socks took the brunt of the blast, but the high-pressure stream of brown liquid shot out of the can and across the master bathroom. After capturing the wriggling, writhing can, I put it in the bathtub. But not before the bathroom floor and walls were covered in a fine brown mist. The same sticky mist coated the the toilet, the bathroom counter, the mirror, the sink, our toothbrushes, the toothpaste, my can of shaving cream, and so on and so on.
As I frantically wiped up the mess, I discovered that the brown mist on the walls went up higher than I could reach. I just left that part alone. I think it looks quite decorative, adding color to our otherwise bland white walls.
I quickly changed clothes, wiped down my fancy dress shoes with wet wipes, and ran for the car. Not until I was behind the wheel out in the bright Texas sunlight did I realize that the lenses of my glasses were also coated in the same brown mist, which, I assume, means my face and hair are as well. I'll just tell my students that I'm trying out a new cologne called "Dr Pepper."
The can contained only 12 ounces of liquid, yet it spewed forth approximately 7,153 gallons of the stuff. Why oh why do spills such as this always -- ALWAYS -- defy the laws of physics?
Postscript: a few days later . . .
If You Spill It They Will Come
Remember the exploding can of Dr Pepper? Well, apparently my rushed cleanup job left Dr Pepper residue behind. As a result, we have been fighting off an ant invasion in the master bathroom for the last few days. But maybe if we just leave the ants alone, they'll clean up what remains of the Dr Pepper and then simply go on their merry way.
Yeah, and I'm six feet tall. Sigh.
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